Shenanigans!

[phaselocknroll]

Comments

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Peter's only seen bits of Eridium up until now -- small chunks that were a little too similar to another glowing, purple stone he's seen before.

(The first time he saw Eridium he'd nearly had something like a war flashback. He shoved it down, though, and no one was the wiser.)

Now, though with the crystals jutting out of the walls -- he thinks it's kind of pretty. And to think, these stupidly valuable rocks have been on Earth all this time. He didn't have to get nabbed and smuggled into space to experience something alien. ]

I'm good if you are.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She notices him studying the Eridium, and flashes him a small smile as they head deeper into the cave. ]

That stuff’s pretty much useless when it’s unrefined, but some of the bandit clans on Pandora think you can get slag powers by swallowing it.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He turns away from his examination of the wall to frown. ]

That's not true, right? That just sounds-- stupid.

[phaselocknroll]

Of course it’s not true. That would just be ridiculous. Also gross and probably deadly.

Who would even want slag powers?

[nostalgiabomb]

Hey, some folks'll probably just take what they can get, y'know? Maybe better to have any ability than none.

[ A beat, then, ]

Even if that ability is barfin' purple crap all over a dude.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She gives him a looong look ]

Do you want slag powers, Peter?

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He makes a derisive noise. ] No way in hell.

Just sayin', some dudes ain't as well-equipped as others, that's all.

'Sides, I'd want a way cooler power than slag. Like, I dunno, X-Ray vision or teleportation.

[phaselocknroll]

Just making sure.

[ Though she kind of has slag powers, doesn't she? That's fucking weird. ]

... What would you do with x-ray vision, exactly?

[nostalgiabomb]

I dunno. [ Idly his hand trails along the wall, though he lifts his fingers before they can touch the raw Eridium. Harmless, probably, but he avoids it all the same. (He'll always hate the color purple, he thinks.) ]

Like, peek at presents before my birthday or Christmas? [ Nevermind he hasn't celebrated a birthday or a Christmas since the last time he was on Earth. ] Check if shit is booby-trapped? Find goons hiding behind walls when we break in somewhere?

There're a lot of practical applications.

[ A beat. ]

You thought I was gonna say somethin' gross, weren't you.

[phaselocknroll]

Just a little bit.

[nostalgiabomb]

Oh, ye of little faith.

'Sides. I don't need x-ray vision to see underneath your clothes.

[ Aaaand there it is. ]

[phaselocknroll]

Ah, there we are. I was about to ask who you were and what you did with my boyfriend.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Deadpans, ] I am actually from the planet P'Klanntor 6, who has eaten the innards of the one you call "Star-Lord" to wear his handsome, attractive skin.

[phaselocknroll]

Is that what he told you before you ate him? That everyone calls him "Star-Lord"? Because they don't.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He pouts at her. ] Now that's just plain cruel of you to say.

[phaselocknroll]

I tease because I care.

[nostalgiabomb]

Or because you like kicking a man when he's down and had his squishy parts sucked out by a parasitic alien.

I can't tell if I'm more masochistic or if you're more sadistic, but either way, you're lucky me 'n' the P'Klanntorian like you.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She pauses in walking long enough to kiss him on the cheek ]

I like you too.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ At first he smiles, but then he waves her off, like an embarrassed kid being coddled on his first day of school. ]

Maya. We're working.

[phaselocknroll]

Sorry, sorry. Sometimes I just can't resist.

[ There are more work lights up ahead, pointing into a gaping hole in the cave wall ] Looks like this is where we need to go.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He gives the hole a measuring glance, then nods. ]

Alright, cool, this doesn't seem ominous in the slightest.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She peers down- apparently the workers never got so far as to set up lights, because it's pitch black after a certain distance.

God dammit. ]

Sure is dark down there.

[nostalgiabomb]

That? Nah, that's lit up brighter than the sky on July Fourth. [ A thought strikes him, though, as he's peering into the darkness. ]

Hey, fish out my jacket, would you? Pretty sure I had a plasma ball stashed.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She does as asked- anything's better than having to either exert her powers or deal with the darkness- and hands him his coat from her digistruct device ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He takes the coat and, sure enough, he'd stashed away a plasma ball like he thought.

Lesson for all you kids at home: Always be prepared.

He fishes out the device, which is about the size of a softball, and shakes it to life as he hands back his jacket; it lets off a soft, white glow, which is more than enough to push back the darkness, and he takes a few steps further into the makeshift tunnel. ]

What're the chances of this ancient alien creature just needin' a nightlight to settle down?