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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
Fuck no, of course not.

[ It comes out too quickly, followed by a nervous laugh. It's supposed to be a joke, as it has been every time before now, but this time he just-- can't muster it, and the honesty in the statement seeps through.

Maya's not the only one who's been worried about him and this newest assignment, that much he knows. The other Guardians have tried to alleviate the coil of unease in his gut in their own ways -- some of their tactics more tough lovey than he typically likes, but he appreciates the gesture, all the same. Appreciates that they're even trying, because for a team of sociopaths, it's kind of sweet that they're trying to comfort him at all.

If something like this had happened while he worked with the Ravagers, they would've just told him to suck it up and sent him on his way. To have people actually be concerned about him and his well-being, without also having an ulterior motive for it -- it's been a damn long time since he's experienced it. Not since he was a kid, in fact.

Not since he was last on Earth.

It's been twenty-six years since he's set food on Terran soil. And right now? He's fucking terrified. He doesn't know why, either.

At the moment he's seated at the back of the cockpit, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. When Earth comes into view, his hands are clasped so tightly together that they're actually shaking. This is the first time he's seeing the Earth like this. When the Ravagers had taken him that night in 1988, he didn't get the chance to peek out of a porthole, didn't get a chance to watch Earth grow smaller and smaller as they flew away. He had been knocked out almost immediately when they retrieved him from the airlock, since he had kicked and bit and screamed when the monsters had come for him.

At one time, the view would've been breathtaking. He would've found it beautiful. Right now, it just makes his stomach do unsteady flips.

He stands abruptly when Gamora announces they're moving in to land, tries to ignore the fact that everyone's eyes are on him, expressions tinged with something really close to worry. ]


I just-- I'm gonna-- I've gotta check my gear.

[ And he beats a hasty retreat, climbing down the ladder from the cockpit into the common area. ]
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He didn’t make it very far – he’s leaning forward, hands splayed against the table, staring at his blasters. And even if he had, the Milano is a small ship. There aren’t many places to hide.

(Well, there are a few. For emergencies, mostly, like if the ship gets boarded or if the authorities happen across them and they need to hide cargo in a hurry, and he thinks he may still be the only one on the ship who knows about them. He’s wondering if an unplanned homecoming counts as an emergency.)

Peter’s fight or flight instinct has always skewed more to one side than the other; it’s why he did so well as a Ravager – not that they were cowards, as such, but a healthy sense of self-preservation meant that they could live to steal another day. And right now? Every nerve in his body is screaming at him to run.

It’s probably why he jumps about a mile out of his skin when he hears her, whipping around to face her. ]


-- Shit. Maya. Hi.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Under normal circumstances, that entire exchange would’ve made him laugh -- at the moment, though, it goes largely unnoticed. ]

Huh? There's-- there's nothing to really talk about.

[ It's not a lie, since he really doesn't know what it is that has him so on edge. It's not as though he's getting dropped off at Gramps' house or something, not as though he has to explain why he's been gone twenty-six years, when he could’ve come back at any time within the past sixteen and hasn’t.

He picks up one of his blasters and a small tool, fiddles with the calibration. ]


Just another mission, right?
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The thing is, he doesn’t think he’d ever have "terms." Sure, in passing he may have made mention of one day coming back, but if he had the choice, he doesn’t think he ever would. He’s been a long way from home for a goddamn long time, now. He’s a completely different person -- definitely not Mom’s little Pete anymore, not the stupid kid who’d throw himself at bullies after they killed a bullfrog, that’s for damn sure. He’s this strange, selfish person who’s been running his entire life. ]

It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

[ He says it as much for her benefit as it is for his own. Still, he lets his hands drop, puts the blaster and the tool back on the table. He’s already done maintenance on his weapons a billion times since they got the assignment -- at this point, he’s pretty sure he could shoot a squirrel with pinpoint accuracy from a mile away.

He hasn’t seen a squirrel in nearly thirty years. How fucking weird.

-- And for some bizarre reason, the thought of squirrels, of all things, rips the fight right out of him, and he visibly sags. ]


I’m fucking terrified, Maya.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He wraps his arms around her in kind, rests his forehead on his shoulder and leans into her touch. And for a long while he just stands there, pretending that it’s just the two of them in the entire universe and that he’s not some Lost Boy coming back from Neverland.

He doesn’t know why he’s freaking out so badly, honestly. Earth is a big place. Not like he’ll have to confront any of the ghosts of his past -- they're nowhere near Missouri, after all.

And Maya will be there, and the others, so it’s not like he’s alone in dealing with this. Maybe it won’t be so bad, after all.

He tries to brighten his voice to show that he’ll be okay. ]


Can’t leave you guys alone for a second. Rocket might end up nuking the entire place if I’m not there to turn the puppy dog eyes on him.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He shrugs at that. ] Hey, I use it on everyone. Puppy dog eyes are universal.

[ Gamora’s cuts into the quick silence, announces that they’re landing in a few moments. He smiles a little unsteadily and tightens his hug for a moment before pulling back. ]

I’ll be alright. Couldn’t do it without you, though.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ His smile turns a teensy bit sly. ]

Oh, cool, is Gaige showing up on this job, too?
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-10 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Not at all.

[ He holsters his guns and stretches his neck from side to side. Before he speaks, he holds his hand out to her. ]

I’ll manage, though. Just gotta stick by the stand-in for the Vault expert, right?
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-11 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ He gives her hand a squeeze, and there's the soft thud and a slight rocking as the Milano touches down. There's another second where everything cries out in unison, Run, but he tamps it down as best he can. ]

Alright. Let's kick some ass.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-11 06:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ By all rights, Peter really should be the first one out. It's his home planet, after all. It's his home turf, and he has a claim to be the first one out.

... But he really, really wants to be the last one. Sometimes his instinct to flee manifests in strange ways, and he seriously has to wrestle with it.

Usually he does it by telling himself he's being a dumbass, and he mentally shakes himself as he heads to the airlock. ]


... Nah. Come on.
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-11 07:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ Thaaat earns her a low level glower, as he opens the door to the airlock. ]

You're lucky I like you so much.

[ He hops down into the airlock (and what the Milano lacks in horizontal space, it certainly makes up for it vertically). Some weird compulsion makes him punch in the code to open the door bay doors properly, even before Maya's made her way down -- maybe an eagerness that's only now rearing its head? Or maybe the feeling that he should just do it quick, like ripping off a bandage? The doors part, and Peter hesitantly steps out, taking a deep breath as he catches his first proper view of Earth in almost three decades.

They've landed in a forested area near the mountains, and the clean, crisp air carries the scent of pine and earth; memories of spending holidays at Gramps' cabin immediately spring to Peter's mind, and he inhales sharply, recoiling as if from a physical blow.

This is getting too fucking real, and he leans against the ship's hull for a second to gather his composure. ]
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-11 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Once Maya is there, he stifles that panicky feeling rising in his throat, tries to go into Professional Mode. ]

What do you think, scout the area? Take out anyone outside before moving in?
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[personal profile] nostalgiabomb 2014-11-11 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I just wanna get this over with.

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