Shenanigans!

[phaselocknroll]

Comments

[nostalgiabomb]

I'll take a dingy club and a bar brawl over fancy dress any time.

[ He's quirking a brow at the statue when she speaks -- and he blinks, then mutters a curse. ]

I think you're right. How much you wanna bet this guy's gotta secret passageway?

[phaselocknroll]

I think that might be required to be in the "rich assholes" club, really.

[ She begins inspecting the statue and the wall behind it for a panel or a switch or something. ]

But if I had to keep a safe anywhere, it would be in a secret passageway.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He's looking over the statue as well, arms akimbo. ]

If I were a narcissistic, gigantic asshole with tons of money for cool secret levers and junk like that, I'd hide it on the statue.

But that's 'cause I saw a movie with something like that when I was younger. No clue what this jackass's excuse is.

[phaselocknroll]

Maybe he thinks it's quirky.

[ looking... looking... it looks a little worn around the shoulder, and after squinting at it a bit, there seems to be some kind of crack or joint or something there. ]

Hey Peter, you should give this guy a handshake.

[nostalgiabomb]

... Seriously?

[ And Peter looks so unimpressed, but he does as asked, pulling the arm down tentatively, as if expecting it to set off every alarm in the place.

Luckily for them, though, the wall behind the statue slides open silently, with little fanfare, revealing a staircase heading down.

Peter gives the statue a friendly pat on the shoulder. ]

Thanks, bud.

[ And he takes the lead again, moving cautiously. ]

[phaselocknroll]

[ She follows behind, hiking up her skirt to get down the stairs without taking a tumble. ]

You think this hallway is booby trapped?

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He takes a moment to give her a weary glance, as if to say, "Seriously, Maya?"--

But then he can feel the next step he moves to give way slightly, and it's only due to his quick reflexes that he narrowly avoids the electrified dart that flies from the right wall and embeds itself into the left. ]

... I kinda do now, yeah. Uh, so avoid that step right there.

[phaselocknroll]

Called it.

[ her smirk is downright triumphant ]

Give me a hand- I'm gonna faceplant in these heels if I try and step over it myself.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He tests the next couple of steps before he holds a hand out to her. ]

At your service, my lady.

[phaselocknroll]

Thank you, kind sir.

[ She takes his hand, using him as balance to get over the step ]

I sure hope we don't get chased out of here by a giant boulder. [ movie reference! ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ OH, he's so proud of her, as his answering grin shows. ]

Funny you should mention that. I've been thinking about wearing a hat like Indy's. Thoughts?

[phaselocknroll]

Hmm. Are you going to include the whip and the half-open shirt, too?

[nostalgiabomb]

Maya! [ It comes out in a gasp, and Peter looks utterly scandalized, his free hand splayed against his chest. ] We are working right now! We can discuss the whip situation when we're done.

[phaselocknroll]

[ She has something sarcastic on the tip of her tongue, but a blinking red light on the ceiling catches her eye, and she shoves him into the wall, hand coming up to catch the security camera in a phaselock before it can fully rotate and spot them. It's close thing, and she has to press against him to stay out of the camera's line of sight ]

I can't hold it forever. We need to move.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He doesn't realize what's happening at first, and he's so close to saying, "Maya, you are incorrigible," before he spots the red light himself. He nods once, then starts moving again. ]

Sorry. I'll be good.

[phaselocknroll]

Not your fault.

[ once they're around the backside of the camera, she lets her phaselock drop. It's quiet for a bit before Maya pipes up, ]

... Did I ever tell you that I robbed a bank once?

[nostalgiabomb]

No, you haven't. [ And he sounds more eager than surprised, weirdly enough. ] This oughtta be good. Let's hear it.

[phaselocknroll]

Bear with me, because this is a long and sordid tale.

Okay so I have this friend back on Pandora, his name is Brick, and he had this dog that he was really attached to. Anyway, Handsome Jack's girlfriend sort of... killed it. So to get his revenge he asked me and the other Vault Hunters to rob the bank in the town where she was the sheriff.

It was far from subtle- we had to build this bomb, right? But the metal that the vault door was made out of could only be dissolved by skag bile. So we had to build a bomb and then get a skag to eat it.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ He nearly lets out a loud laugh, but he holds it back at the last second, covering his mouth. How stupid would it be to get them caught by guffawing when they've already avoided guards and booby traps and cameras? ]

That's frikkin' amazing. How'd you manage that?

[phaselocknroll]

It wasn't hard. Skags will eat anything.

The tricky part was getting him to cough it back up.

[nostalgiabomb]

So what'd you have to do? Show it naked pics of its grandma?

[phaselocknroll]

Weird and gross skag fact: they defecate out of the same hole they use to eat.

We soaked the thing in laxative, and he barfed it back up.

[nostalgiabomb]

Oh my God, that's the grodiest thing I've ever heard. [ Not that it's stopped him from being utterly entertained by it.

They finally reach the bottom of the stairs, which leads them to another hallway. This time the lighting is poor and nonexistent at certain stretches, and Peter mourns the fact that he didn't tuck away a plasma ball to light the way. ]

Well then. This will be fun.

[phaselocknroll]

[ Maya sides off the glove that she's been wearing over her tattooed hand, a ball of purple energy amassing in her palm. The light it gives off isn't too bright, but it's better than nothing. ] I can only do this in short stretches, but it should get us through.

[nostalgiabomb]

Oh, you're a package deal. Beautiful, smart, funny, and a flashlight in a pinch.

[ He's careful as he picks his way through, mindful of each tile he steps on. He holds Maya's hand throughout, helping her step over tiles that he finds suspicious.

So far so good. ]